I just successfully screwed up everything.
Can I feel any worse than what I am feeling now?
What's a girl to do when she wants something so much but she fucked everything up?

I am angry at myself.
I feel like getting out of this body.
Look what I've done,
Now I've gotta wait.
Waiting never felt so miserable before.

Shoot me,
Just shoot me.

A week ago I was so sure that was what I wanted.
Now, I feel like I can give up everything to save this.


And on the other hand, I need to be strong.
School's starting and I just realised that I am going to enter a class with no one I am close with, or rather, with people I don't like, or what I would call associates.
This is just so fucking great.
But for the sake of having a lesser load in the next semester, I need to do this, even though it is going to be tough.

Shit!
Shit!
Shit!


Why must this happen now?

When I feel this way, I used to dial a number in my phonebook to get some comfort.
But now, the number is not to be dialled.


Strong.
Strong.
Push.
Push.

I can't believe I have to start my pushing even before the game has started.


DAMMIT!

11:16 PM