met up with carene today at bugis.. another one going over to aust for studies.. been quite a while since i met up with her, glad she's doing alright now. had dinner with tracy cuz carene had a dinner appointment at vivo.. and speaking about vivo, i think i only went there like thrice..?

had dinner at sakae and we sat there for close to 3 hours just yakking. mr kong called halfway and he is sick! down with slight fever and flu.. i hope its not dengue cuz one of his camp person kana dengue. im quite a paranoid person esp when it comes to health, sure some of you know that alr.. i just think that everyone should take their health seriously, so what if you have all the riches in the world and not a healthy body?

anws, i realised that being a girl isn't easy. esp those times when u cannot bring yourself to fogive nor forget mistakes that your bf has made. i mean mistakes as in the kind where he isn't faithful to you. im really scared that one day i will fall into that kind of situation. was talking to tracy about this just now and im still thinking about it.

i rmb once talking to my colleage in meritus, she was saying she suspect her husband has an affair but she choose to keep quiet. she said to me: what can i do? he provides for me, he gives me expenses to take care of my children and he has given me a place to call home. Arguing with him over another women won't make things any nicer, in fact, we may end up quarreling even more. What good does it do for me and my children?

it hit me hard then. so i asked her back: but how can you accept and still be that dutiful wife when you know you are sharing your husband with someone else?

and she said: if i don't accept it and have a divorce, how about our kids? i don't want them growing up without a complete family. when it comes to such a stage when you husband isn't faithful, you know that all you can do now is to close one eye for the sake of the children.

A mother's love.
A woman's suffering.

She can still tell me that when her husband comes home late, she will still wake up and cook for him if he is hungry or just give him what he wants. Can you imagine? What she feels inside cannot be shown. And she told me: men will always be men. I know you find it hard to believe but when you grow older to my age, you will understand. Right now, you are still so young and have a different view about marriage life and relationships. I too had the same thoughts as you when i was ur age. But what to do? It is not easy to find a guy who can be faithful to you throughout your marriage.

After hearing it, i dunno if i really "pei fu" her or pity her. Pei fu her she can tolerate and close one eye on such a big thing. Pity cuz it is sad that your once lovey-dovey relationship and colourful future that you had in mind at the start of marriage life was gone. As girls, when you get married, it is like a new beginning for you with someone else and surely you would picture yourself every 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years down the road with that special someone of yours and at the different phrases of life, how you two can still overcome it all and remain just as loving.

Don't rely on men. Not that they aren't reliable but in this world now, where can you find a guy who can be truthful and faithful to you until the day you bid the world goodbye? Of cuz every woman wish that her husband would be that kind of man. But pity, not all man can do it. To me, those who fail to be truthful and faithful to their wife for all their life cannot be called a man no matter how successful you are in your career. If you can't even be faithful to one woman, you fail being a man, in fact, you shouldn't be called one. It defeats the purpose of you having a male reproductive system. I think all men who aren't faithful should vanish from the world and spare innocent women from all the disappointments and hardships.

I've got very strong views on trustworthy and faithful man. so much so if i don't find one that is trustworthy and faithful, or should i say i thought i found one but 20 years down the road i realised i was wrong, i think i will go crazy. seriously, i would think i will enter into a state of depression.

Sometimes i really wonder, is it that difficult to remain faithful?

12:59 AM