been quite a week..

cny was alrite.. tho it was a little boring.. wasnt how i tot it wld be like the other years but still.. had fun.. i won an overall of 7 bucks from playing "bun luck" after all the winning n losing.. haha.. had a stayover party at my place w sarah n lavi.. me n rah went town at 11pm.. haha.. my first tym gg out so late.. kinda dumb.. wadevers.. e two of us roamed ard town.. pity clubs werent open.. funny things happen.. all the coincidental stuff and all.. was fun la.. and after tt went to fishermen village for drinks with lavi n sarah.. it was really a long day for all 3 of us.. which wld take me hours to type it down.. after tt came over at my place at 3am.. had a fashion gone wrong parade n phototaking.. was hilarious i tell u.. all the blanket n jacket and off fashion sunglasses and tutti frutti fair clips not to forget the tweety bird clip on lavi's head.. finally went to slp at 5am.. woke up 12 the nxt day.. had bkfast n sarah went back first n rene came.. watched memoirs of a geisha.. was nice la.. haha.. oh.. congrats to kelvin for passing his driving.. im happy for u.. i shall start booking practical lessons.. soon....................... right.. so we slack at my hse and me n lavi went to cut rene's hair.. wahaha.. as in really cut.. kinda cool la.. tho i we used the big sisscors and all the not professional stuff.. but it turned out nt bad la.. haha..


CNY week was hell.. i hate u. i hate the way u talk to me. i hate the way u say things out of anger esp. im so angry at wad u said. u snd foolish. im disappointed that u said u wanna get her as ur gf. i noe u said it out of anger but u didnt hv to say it out did u? wad the fuck. i dunno wad u want. first we had a nice talk. den u said it was useless. just like this, u left. i love u. but i noe it cant work out somehow. if u cld say tt to me, i believe u no longer cared abt the r/s no more. maybe the time just isnt right. u've left. u've left. the love is different. u got ur stand ive got mine. its forever gone. i dunno y but i can love n hate u at the same tym. its been 5 something yrs. its been a long tym. i cant be me anymore, u get it? i cant. u just push me to do smtg even more den wad i cld, in both gd n bad ways tt is. i noe. i noe. its for real this tym. ive got tt point. and now wad? fuck it. fuck it. fuck it. i hate myself for loving u. i hate myself for holding on so long. all the things i did. i noe they're worth it. i guess if tis is how u want it to be, it will be, it will be. darling, it will be.


need i say more?
but fuck it.
i dunno how to carry on.
i noe it myself.
its gd enuff.

11:20 PM