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Friday, December 16, 2005

just finished watching the rainbow connection.. aiyeer.. nt very happy w the ending lei.. i want yoyo and jian yi to be tgt.. tt xiaoqian like third party liddat.. eeeks.. anws, the show is over and the new 9 o clock show looks nice toos.. hehe..


dratss.. mid sem is next week.. but thankfully i only hv 2 papers.. accounts and FnBops.. starting on monday and ends on tuesday.. both 1 hour paper.. so quite lucky~ wahaha.. lyn! dun worry.. tho u have more papers den me, we shall look forward to sickos stayover at yuxin's on friday yea?


lodging project is done n over with.. *claps claps* but my grp have yet to touch oh the rest of the 3 projects.. boos.. guess tts wad the mid sem break is for? will b having 2 weeks of break so yipees~!

i wanna book my practical lessons for driving but i keep delaying.. cuz 1) i m scared to go on e road to drive.. 2) i havent learnt a thing abt my advance cuz its so much to leanr.. 3) i dun wanna learn alone.. 4) i dunno wen is the suitable time to learn n book the lessons.. argh.. how howhow.. im having second tots on driving.. i feel so uncomfortable but I WANNA LEARN DRIVING!






i was on e way back home today after creative and i dunno y i just sank into lonliness in the mrt.. i felt so insecure and i really start missing ppl.. esp when they play such a big part in ur life.. sometimes u wish that at that moment, u find the person u miss right beside you.. and everything tt revolves ard u stops and u just enjoy that perfect moment.. just wen u thot it was the most perfect moment u cld have, some bugger's telephone or the mrt operator would break that moment and everything comes back to reality and u see a stranger beside u.. even as u walk on the streets.. dun u just feel like having a special someone beside u?


it kinda just strucks u dere and den that u yearn for tt person and u wondered how in the world did u once hated and avoided the person so much that now u wished that it all nv happened at all.. and u tell urself tt u shld nt be thinking in this way over all tt has happened but u noe that tt is not wad u actually want now but yet wad u want now might nt be wad u want for the future.. so how do u satisfy ur demanding wants that changes every now and den? u think back about all the times and u feel a sense of nostalgia, a kind of yearning that u long to have yet wen u had it, it wasnt a yearn to u but instead it was a norm.. once u lose that norm and go into a state of yearn, u just hate urself for not treasuring that norm which has now become a terrible yearn..


u keep asking urself that y isit that at that time u just wanted the person out of ur life so so so badly and yet a few mths later, u find tt sometimes u want the person back so so so much.. as tho u forgot the hurt tt was once inflicted upon u.. and u say tt love is forgiving.. but at the point in time when u were full of hurt, u tell urself tt love is kind and love endures all things and u start wondering y ur love is not kind and cant endure such obstacles which made u receive such hurt tt u felt u shld nt b receiving..


u tell urself tt u very much want to move on and u noe u can and u noe ur determination will bring u thru it cuz at tt point in time ur determination is at its peak but ultimately, once it goes into a drop, all's gone and u fall into a dark hole.. and tts wen the most suffering part comes in.. u try to walk towards the light but yet u seem as tho u need someone so that u can have the light, so tt days seem much more bright and more looking forward to.. tts wen u feel so pathetic and u just wonder y u r so useless.. its a vicious cycle.. really.. the mind is willing but the heart is not.. how funny tt such contridiction can happen inside the same body n soul..



if i could just be numb to all the hurt inflicted..





10:26 PM