Saturday, June 18, 2005
this isn't the perfect ending that i painted..............
didnt go sch today.. went to meet erica in town for coffee.. had a nice talk with her at coffee club.. i just love tis kinda girl talks.. whr u can talk abt anything and everything under e sun.. whr u can understand wad each other is thinking even w/o explaining.. its juyst so nice.. a time whr u can really say everything out and luff madly w/o a care in e world..
perhaps i see things in a more positive manner.. i dun wanna tink back abt the memories cuz they r so hurting.. they delay my "healing" process and cause me to cry into e night.. so far, i havent tot abt e times i had before.. i guess tts y i can still go on with life.. i hope e memories wont crawl up tp me suddenly.. i hate it wen i see things tt remind me of him.. so many things ard me reminds me of him, tts y its soo hard.. if i cld, w first thing i wld do now is to pack my suitcase and go overseas, leaving behind the hurt.. but sad to say i cant.. i dun exactly noe wad i shld do now.. his face, his smile, his voice, his hair, his hugs... i dun seem to be able to erase them.. i wish it wld all go away and not make me cry..
i used to tink tt i had a perfect fairytale tt wld end with a happily ever after.. but i nv had it.. or mabbe only half of it came true..
1) it ended, but
2) it didnt end with a happily ever after
so much for my happy ending..
i've travelled exactly 4 yrs 10 months and 0 days with him
so much for my happy ending..