sometimes i really wonder.. which would i prefer.. a someone whom can really support u ur whole life but dun love u as much or a someone who plainly loves u but dun give u a sense of security.. i mean, i aint e sort who goes after wealth.. but i m oso nt e sort hu wants to be slogging thru my whole life.. i hate it when i start growing up(esp when i aint growing taller), u havta start thinking of so many things.. mabbe i am a headstart but i doubt i m e only one..


it really makes me wonder.. which kind of guy i would go for.. of cuz now i m still gg after love.. e happily ever after kind.. but i m so afraid tt my thots will change cuz its gonna affect ppl ard me.. and i dun want tt to happen, yet, i dun wanna be giving for e sake of nt hurting ppl.. wun tt be hurting myself? i dunno if tts a sacrifice too big for me to handle.. everything is fine in my r/s now.. nt tt smtg drastic happened.. these r jus random, unpolished thots.. all i hope for now is tt e guy i love will have a good career in e future.. he needs to work hard towards it.. only tt can guarantee things for me.. he must be able to think out of e box.. he just havta be a someone.. and not a bummer.. tts all i want.. of cuz, he must continue to love me.. it isint too much to ask of him rite? i dun wanna tell me all these.. i want him to noe it.. i do hope he noes.. if he still doesnt, den its sad..


lets say.. in 4 years time i'm gonna be 21.. eeek.. add a couple more years and i m gonna be like 24? sometimes, i feel tt its time i start planning.. planning my future.. but whenever i start, i get a bug headache at e end of e day and nth is solved.. its either this or that, u cant have both.. of cuz some women r lucky to have a great other half whose financially so stable, like a rock.. guys like these r few.. i cant keep choosing.. or u'll end up being choosen.. dere is a simple story of a little boy and a teacher which conveys a simple and powerful message..


a boy asked e teacher wad is love.. she told him to go to a field and pluck the nicest flower he could see.. as told, he went thru the fields.. he saw a beautiful flower halfway when he was walking but he didnt picked it.. he thot dere might be an even nicer one.. but at last, having walked thru till e end, he came back to e teacher without a flower in hand.. so e teacher asked him y.. and he said " i did see some beautiful flowers initially but i thot i could find even nicer ones when i walked on.. but in e end, there wasnt any nicer ones den e ones i saw previously..
well my boy, thats love..
we tend to be picky with ppl and at e end of e day, we get nth.. so i choose to grab e nicest flower now and be contented with it..


later, e boy asked e teacher wad is marriage.. the teacher again told him to go into another field and pick e nicest flower dere.. as told, e boy went in and walked.. when he came out of e field, he was holding on to a flower.. he showed it to the teacher and said tt was e flower he choosed.. the flower wasnt e prettiest of all, it wasnt even near being a pretty flower.. so the teacher asked the boy y didnt he choose other flowers which were much prettier den e one he choosed.. he answered: well, the first time i went into the field, i thot i could find nicer flowers when i walked towards e end but i didnt see any other nicer ones den e one i saw b4 so i came out with nth.. but this time, i learnt, e moment i saw a flower tt was pleasing to my eyes, i just took it with cuz i was afraid i wouldnt find any other nicer ones when i walked on.. i didnt want to end up without a flower like e first tym..
den e teacher told him: this is marriage..


very often we do hear ppl saying tt e person we end up with might nt be e person we really love.. i guess it might be true to a some extent.. i guess wad i am moving towards is a flower tt pleases my eyes.. i dun bother if dere might be other better ones cuz i dun wan to end up with nth at all.. in a way, i dun wanna be too choosy.. like i said, i am contented.. all i hope for is my other half to give me security.. tts all i want.. isint tt all girls want??

4:03 PM